Find Your Older Brother: A Guide to Accelerated Growth and Development
People say that to become better, faster than others, you must learn from those who are already better and faster than you. I learned this lesson from a very young age, though the circumstances may have been a bit unconventional. I didn’t simply adopt the mentality of learning from those who excelled in a classroom or boardroom setting. Instead, I applied this principle to sports and athletics—an environment where the consequences of stagnation were felt immediately. Through sports, I discovered that the best way to improve was to face challenges head-on, especially those posed by people who were more experienced than I was.
The Power of Playing Against Those Better Than You
Growing up, I found myself often playing alongside or against athletes who were older than me. At first, it was intimidating—these players were stronger, faster, and had more experience than I did. But I quickly realized that the choice I had was simple: I could either back down and accept that I wasn’t as skilled, or I could challenge myself to meet and exceed their level of play. I chose the latter.
When you’re playing against older, more seasoned competitors, they force you to rise to their level. They don’t take it easy on you because of your age or lack of experience. That’s where the real growth happens. In the face of a challenge, you’re confronted with a choice: do you rise to the occasion, push yourself harder, and learn faster, or do you shrink back, play safe, and let the moment pass? The effort you put in becomes the determining factor in your improvement. I was never the best player on the field, but I always made it a point to out-hustle everyone else. I wasn’t content to just “go through the motions.” Whether it was running back to defend, diving for a ball, or taking extra time to practice after everyone else had left, I gave everything I had. And that effort paid off.
Not only did my relentless work ethic earn me the respect of my teammates and opponents, but it also gave me the opportunity to continue playing with and learning from them. As I gained experience, my skills improved, but so did my understanding of the game itself. And this, in turn, built my confidence—both as an athlete and as an individual.
The Role of Older Mentors in Your Journey
As I continued to play alongside athletes who were older and more experienced, something incredible started to happen. Some of these players began to take me under their wing. They offered more than just on-field advice; they shared life lessons, both in sports and outside of it. These older mentors started providing one-on-one time, helping me to navigate the complex challenges I faced—challenges I’d never encountered before.
Because they had been in my shoes, they could see obstacles coming before I even approached them. This allowed them to offer guidance and advice that prevented me from making costly mistakes. Whether it was teaching me a new technique or helping me develop the mental toughness needed to overcome pressure situations, their experience acted as a kind of cheat code, allowing me to accelerate my learning curve and develop my skills faster.
As I grew older and began to understand the value of these experiences, I realized that my mentors were doing much more than teaching me how to play the game—they were helping me grow as a person. The lessons I learned on the field often translated into life lessons. The importance of grit, persistence, and adaptability—qualities that were forged in the heat of competition—became tools I could apply in other areas of my life, from academics to relationships to career pursuits.
The Importance of "Older Brothers," Both Literal and Figurative
Interestingly, though I am the oldest brother in my family, I too have had older brothers in my life. The concept of an older brother isn’t always confined to blood relations. It could be a friend, a coach, a colleague, or even someone you’ve never met, whose content—such as books, videos, or podcasts—guides you through challenging moments. These “older brothers” don’t have to be physically present to play an influential role in your development. In fact, they may not even be aware of their impact on your life. But their wisdom, shared experiences, and the lessons they’ve passed on can shape your journey in profound ways.
As I reflect on my own experiences, I recognize that I’ve had several “older brothers” over the years, each one offering a different form of mentorship and support. Sometimes, they were figures I looked up to directly, learning from them through personal interaction. Other times, they were people whose teachings I absorbed through their public work—people whose advice helped me understand how to succeed and navigate challenges.
The Seven Key Characteristics of an "Older Brother"
An older brother, whether real or metaphorical, serves several essential functions in the lives of those who seek to grow, learn, and improve. I’ve broken these down into seven key categories that I believe capture the essence of what an older brother provides:
Mentor: Offering guidance and advice based on their own experiences. They help you avoid mistakes they’ve already made and give you insights on how to take smarter, more informed actions.
Protector: An older brother looks out for you, ensuring that you are safe and secure, not only physically but also emotionally and mentally. They provide a sense of stability, especially during challenging or uncertain times.
Role Model: Older brothers serve as examples of how to live well. They demonstrate positive behaviors, values, and habits that younger siblings can emulate. Their actions show you what it looks like to lead a life of integrity, hard work, and discipline.
Support System: An older brother is there for you during tough times, providing emotional or practical help when you need it the most. Whether it’s offering a shoulder to lean on during a personal crisis or helping with a difficult decision, their support is invaluable.
Teacher: Older brothers share knowledge, skills, and life lessons to help you navigate difficult situations. Whether it’s learning to play a sport, dealing with failure, or managing relationships, they give you the tools to grow.
Companion: A good older brother provides friendship and camaraderie. They make time for you, engage in activities you both enjoy, and create shared memories that strengthen your bond. Their companionship adds joy to your journey.
Encourager: Perhaps most importantly, an older brother motivates you to achieve your best. They cheer you on, push you when you need it, and help you see your own potential. They believe in you even when you don’t believe in yourself.
The Ripple Effect of Having an Older Brother
Whether it’s a family member, a mentor, or someone whose wisdom you absorb from a distance, the impact of having an older brother—or a figure in your life who embodies these qualities—cannot be overstated. These individuals shape your approach to life, your values, and your ability to overcome adversity. They give you the confidence to keep pushing, even when the road ahead seems uncertain. By learning from their example, you can accelerate your growth, develop resilience, and ultimately become the kind of person others look up to.
Just as I learned to rise to the occasion when playing against older, more experienced athletes, you too can find ways to challenge yourself by seeking out those who are ahead of you in some way. Find your older brother—whether in the form of a mentor, a role model, or someone whose influence helps you push beyond your limits—and let them guide you, teach you, and encourage you as you grow.
Ultimately, the key to becoming better and faster than you were before is finding people who can help you unlock your fullest potential. An older brother doesn’t just show you the way—they empower you to walk it yourself.
I’m rooting for you
